


I Can’t Wake Up

by EGreen96



Category: Ballum, EastEnders, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, EastEnders - Freeform, Fluff, LGBTQ, Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:48:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23073484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EGreen96/pseuds/EGreen96
Summary: A continuation from the snippet we saw on the 6th March 2020________________
Relationships: Ballum - Relationship, Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Callum and Ben
Comments: 3
Kudos: 100





	I Can’t Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> ************  
> I’ve been wanting to write this since I watched Eastenders! It’s my first Ballum fix so please don’t be too mean, though constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy this couple as much as I do! 
> 
> -only labelled as mature as there is some swearing. 
> 
> I don’t own any of the characters, this is a fanfiction|fanmade.  
> *************

-

Hours had passed, the movie had long since been over, the credits rolled, the screen black, but still with a dim light as the TV hadn’t been turned off. Callum breathed heavy and winced as the big intake of air aggravated his ribs. He opened his eyes having dozed off. Lexi had fallen asleep on Callum’s lap, Lola had her head on Callum’s shoulder, Jay fast asleep on the chair next to them all. Everyone had fallen asleep except Ben who was still staring at the television in the same position he was when the movie started. The drink Jay got him, untouched, his pizza, uneaten. Callum sighed and touched Lola’s knee waking her from slumber, she yawned and stood up going to get Lexi from Callum, but he shook his head and stood up holding the child to his chest her head resting on his shoulder. 

“It’s alright, Lo. I’ll go put her in bed. You wake that one over there.” Callum moved his head slightly over to Jay who was laying there with his mouth open catching flies. Lola looked to Ben, a worried expression over her face. 

“He hasn’t moved?”  
  
Callum bit his lip and shook his head slightly not wanting to wake Lexi. His heart actually ached for Ben, “doesn’t look like it. I’ll see to him in a minute.” Lola nodded understandingly as she went to wake Jay up. Callum was already halfway up the stairs when he heard a massive thud which was definitely Jays head meeting the floor. 

Putting Lexi in bed, Callum turned on her unicorn nightlight and pulled up her duvet, “Callum…” Lexi’s voice was thick with sleep, “please don’t leave my daddy. He doesn’t say it, but he’s really worried you don’t want him anymore,” she rubbed her eyes and yawned nestling her head in the pillow “now that he can’t hear. He thinks you deserve better.” Callum sat at the end of Lexi’s bed and smiled softly in the dark, the slight pink glow from her nightlight.

“I’m not going anywhere, Lexi... don’t you worry about that.”

Lexi smiled back and cuddled her soft unicorn that was acting as a pillow, “good because I like you around too, my daddy is happier when you’re here. Even when he does have a grumpy face.” Lexi tried to mimic her dad and yawned again. 

“Right, you. Stop stalling and let Callum go and sort out Mr. Grumps downstairs. Bedtime” Lola stood at the doorframe smiling.

“Goodnight, nugget.” Callum kissed the top of Lexi’s forehead and turned around on his feet, Lola’s hand affectionately on Callum’s arm as she mouthed a thank you to him. 

Walking downstairs felt longer. Would Ben still be in the exact same spot or had he fallen asleep? Walking into the living room he saw Ben, still sitting in the same place. He almost looked like a mannequin. Callum sighed and turned on a lamp next to the sofa not wanting to turn the main light on and get a shock to the system. Ben looked vacant... as though he was an empty vessel with no one home. Taking a seat next to the younger man he put his hand gently on his leg shaking Ben out of his void. Ben looked at Callum, defeat was in his eyes along with tears threatening to fall, his bottom lip quivering as he couldn’t keep it in anymore. He gripped hold of Callum’s shirt and bunched it in his fits as he screamed into his person, bounding his fists against the older mans chest, the pain of his wretched cry gripping Callum more than Ben slamming his fists into his broken ribs. “I can’t wake up, Callum. This is a nightmare I can’t wake up from. I can’t hear anything, but it’s so loud, everything is so loud. I want it to stop. Please make it stop! I am watching everyone talking, everyone laughing and I can’t hear anything! What if I can’t ever hear Lexi again, my own daughter! what if I can’t ever hear you again, Callum! I can’t do it. I can’t fucking do it! Please make it stop!!” Ben was gasping for air, tears falling out of his eyes like a stream. Callum’s heart was breaking, he would do anything to make him feel better, but he couldn’t. If he could, he would give his own hearing up for Ben to take. He was that selfless. He was useless in this moment. He wrapped his arms around Ben tightly and cradled him to his chest, kissing the top of his head, running his hands through his soft brown hair. Rocking him back and forth as he broke down. How he opened up to him. “I know you can’t hear me, but I love you Ben. I love you so much and you are going to get through this. We are all going to get through this together as a family. A big dysfunctional family.” 

Ben took a deep breath as realisation hit him. Callum, the pain, Keanu, his ribs, the ribs he was only moments ago bounding his fists against. “Fuck. I am so sorry. I can’t, I” Ben got up and ran to the kitchen, his own pain forgotten as he ran into the living room with a towel and frozen peas pressing them against Callum’s ribs, pain very obviously flushed across his face. He shook his head and looked to Ben so he could see what he was saying,

“It’s okay, don’t worry. I am fine.” Ben shook his head fast, any faster and he would have given himself concussion,

“No! It’s not fucking okay! You’re meant to be resting, healing and I am here making it all about me, punching your ribs. Fuck.” He gripped his hair and yanked at it as Callum sprang to his feet to stop him, looking towards Ben again he started to talk,

“Stop, stop this now. I love you. Everyone in this house loves you. We will get through this. I am fine” Callum smiled, still in extreme pain but smiling through it, for Ben. 

“I’m so sorry, Callum. I didn’t think.”

Callum shook his head and pulled Ben close, kissing him deeply, his hand pressed against the back of his head. Kissing each other, tears and all. Callum pulled away and looked Ben in the eyes, rubbing his thumb underneath wiping away stray tears “I’m not going anywhere. You have me for the long run. I love you, Ben”

“I love you, Callum”

**Author's Note:**

> ************
> 
> Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment and Kudos if you enjoyed this :) should I write more? 
> 
> ************


End file.
